A Guide to Healing: How to help a person grieving the loss of a child.

Losing a child is a pain that feels insurmountable. As mothers, we often feel the need to be strong for others, suppress our emotions, or even question our ability to heal. This guide is designed to help you navigate the journey of grief, honoring every emotion while finding pathways to peace, strength, and victory. Based on the 5 stages of grief, this guide incorporates affirmations, meditation, yoga, and self-love practices to help you cope with each step.

1. Denial- (Help a person grieve and understand)

Denial is the mind's way of protecting us from overwhelming emotions. During this stage, you may feel numb or in disbelief about your loss.

How to Cope:

• Affirmation: "It’s okay to feel unprepared. I allow myself to feel what I need to heal."

• Practice: Create a safe space where you can sit quietly and acknowledge your feelings. Write a letter to your child, expressing your love and thoughts.

• Meditation: Engage in a grounding meditation where you focus on your breath and visualize roots connecting you to the earth, bringing stability.

• Yoga Pose: Child’s Pose (Balasana) to reconnect with a sense of safety.

2. Anger

Anger often surfaces as a way to release the pain we feel inside. It’s natural to feel frustrated, betrayed, or question why this happened.

How to Cope:

• Affirmation: "My anger is valid, and I release it in ways that serve my healing."

• Practice: Identify healthy outlets for anger, such as journaling or physical activities like punching a pillow or running.

• Meditation: Use a "release meditation," visualizing your anger as a color that you exhale with each breath.

• Yoga Pose: Warrior II (Virabhadrasana II) to channel strength and focus.

3. Bargaining

In this stage, you may find yourself reflecting on "what if" or "if only" scenarios. These thoughts can feel consuming, but they’re a normal part of grief.

How to Cope:

• Affirmation: "I release the need to rewrite the past and focus on finding peace in the present."

• Practice: Write down the thoughts you are bargaining with, then gently challenge them by acknowledging what you cannot change.

• Meditation: Practice a loving-kindness meditation, focusing on sending love to yourself and your child.

• Yoga Pose: Seated Forward Fold (Paschimottanasana) for reflection and surrender.

4. Depression

This stage can feel like a heavy weight, where sadness and loneliness dominate. It’s important to know that it’s okay to grieve deeply.

How to Cope:

• Affirmation: "I honor my sadness as part of my healing journey."

• Practice: Create a "comfort corner" with items that bring you solace—photos, soft blankets, or meaningful objects.

• Meditation: Focus on your heart center, visualizing a warm, healing light surrounding you.

• Yoga Pose: Reclining Bound Angle Pose (Supta Baddha Konasana) for relaxation and opening the heart.

5. Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting or "moving on." It means integrating the loss into your life and finding ways to live fully while honoring your child’s memory.

How to Cope:

• Affirmation: "I am learning to live with this loss, and I carry my child’s love with me always."

• Practice: Create a ritual to celebrate your child’s life—planting a tree, lighting a candle, or starting a journal of memories.

• Meditation: Visualize your child’s love as a source of strength and guidance.

• Yoga Pose: Mountain Pose (Tadasana) to embrace balance and steadiness.

Additional Practices

• Self-Love:

  • Treat yourself with kindness. Practice daily affirmations, such as "I am worthy of love and healing."

  • Engage in activities that bring you joy and comfort, like art, music, or nature walks.

• Forgiveness:

  • Forgive yourself for any guilt or "what if" thoughts. Grieving mothers often carry an immense burden of blame. Remember: you did your best with the love and knowledge you had.

  • Affirmation: "I forgive myself and release the weight of guilt."

• Tears and Release:

  • Allow yourself to cry. Tears are a natural and healing expression of grief.

  • Practice "stream of consciousness" journaling to pour out suppressed emotions.

Conclusion

Grieving is not linear, and it is not something to "get over." It is a journey of love, remembrance, and transformation. As you walk this path, remember that healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means finding strength in your memories and allowing them to inspire you to live fully. You are not alone. With each step, you reclaim your victory and your strength. May this guide help you or a person you know grieve.